A glorious goodbye, By FAYE WHITBECK, Staff Writer

Bishop-elect Tom Aitken man of rare gifts

Past the seeker as he prayed, came the crippled and the beggar and the beaten. And seeing them... he cried,
"Great God, how is it that a loving creator can see such things and yet do nothing about them?" God said, "I did do something.
I made you."
~Author Unknown

To say that Tom Aitken sees the goodness in people is to tempt cliche.
To say that he inspires people to feel the goodness, and to hope for goodness, and to recognize the potential for goodness, better defines his gift.
For 16 years, he has served First Lutheran Church in International Falls and Bethany Lutheran in Loman. He and wife Beckie have passionately shared their lives with their community. So losing everyday access to the Aitkens could leave the Icebox of the Nation a little bit colder.
But so great is the gift, say several, that this is not a time for regret.
“The truth is that we’ve had the best of all possible things,” said Mary Ojala of First Lutheran. “We have loved him and he has loved us. We’re both grieving and celebrating.
“And we’re taking some bragging rights. We helped grow a bishop.”
Aitken was recently elected bishop of the Northeastern Minnesota Synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. He will give his last sermon as pastor to his parish family on Sunday.
“I have said no several times,” said Aitken, regarding previous requests by colleagues to offer his name in the bishop selection. “I’m a happy pastor. But this time, it seemed I should.” Aitken sits at an open table in his office, where for years he has counseled anguished and suffering souls.
Receiving the majority of the delegates’ votes, Aitken was told that he was the only candidate who was transparent in his tendency for tolerance, and in his liberal views regarding parishes and clergy positions. “It seems to be where the synod wants to go,” he said.

A face above the crowd
Far from the image of the rigid, austere and punishing clergyman, Aitken is a colorful, emotional and gregarious man. He loves to laugh, loves the theater, and loves camaraderie. He admires many local artists, actors and musicians. Aitken has been likened to actors Richard Dreyfuss and Chuck Norris, comparisons he finds hilarious.
But it is human traits like these that make Aitken authentic, and his message believable to many.
“Passion for life is not something that Minnesotans easily give expression to. Tom has been the exception in this community, whether it be from the pulpit, the stage or in one-on-one discussions,” said friend Doug Skrief. “Having worked with him in many theater productions, I have come to appreciate not only his broad talent but his willingness to take performances to the next level... It becomes an expression of love. That's rare. ...Tom's dedication and talent, not to mention Beckie's, will be sorely missed. Then, again, Duluth is not that far away..."
“Tom and Beckie have embraced the community and become active in many areas of its day-to-day life,” said Brad Ettestad of First Lutheran. “Their commitments, interaction and friendship will be greatly missed, along with Tom’s joyous laughter.”

Beliefs and views
Aitken remembers how others needled him after accepting the Falls post at First Lutheran in 1992. “Why would you go up to that god-forsaken border town?” they asked him in Brainerd. The perception still bothers Aitken, who has come to love the personalities and the traditions of the area.
His heart holds a special place for the women who have long-served the church, finding communion extremely emotional these last few weeks. “They don’t realize the strength they provide, their importance,” he said.
Although weddings, baptisms and funerals define much of ministering, Aitken said that he struggles most with the death of a child. His eyes brim with tears remembering the particular funeral of a 5-year-old. “God doesn’t intend that. But these are the ‘dark nights of the soul’ (a historical metaphor used to express the loneliness and desolation of a spiritual journey).”
Aitken is the first to admit that we are left to struggle with some issues. However, he emphasizes that the God he loves does not send painful messages by making bad things happen. “God planned for forces like gravity,” he said. “And because of that, we may have an accident.” He believes that the potential for grief exists in the world, but not because God wills it.
Aitken is not naive to the ailing underside of the community and he does have some concerns. One regards alcoholism, an issue at the core of many he has counseled. Another is domestic abuse. “There is nothing wrong with enjoying a drink,” said Aitken gently. “But be an adult.”
He said he has grown to respect the paradigm and the bond in local hunting traditions, even though he has never fired a gun.
The Aitkens believe the area has been a wonderful place to have raised their children, Alissa and Michael.
Aitken reminds local families and friends that small-town solidarity is something to be cherished. “To have known people from their beginnings — to have that history — is very special.”
“Tom’s life and message is the embodiment of the grace of God,” said Harry Schumacher, who served as assistant pastor with Aitken. “He firmly believes that God is blessing the entire world with no exceptions. Everybody is a child of God and is loved equally. Tom expresses it by showering God’s grace on everybody — with the magnitude of a water cannon.”

Aitken roots
The makings of a man like Aitken were likely founded in the sturdy and unique blend of his parents; as well as a twist of fate that changed their lives immeasurably.
Thomas Aitken was born Jan. 5, 1956, to a Scottish Episcopalian father and a Norwegian Lutheran mother from the Red River Valley. His father Paul, who died in 1986, was an attorney for the city of Minneapolis where Aitken grew up. He never lost a case. His 87-year-old mother Bernice, an extremely devout woman, instilled the belief in Aitken during childhood that all people are fundamentally good.
Their oldest child is Aitken’s sister, Barbara Swanson of Wilmar, a music teacher who sings beautifully, he notes. The youngest, James, was diagnosed with schizophrenia in adolescence, an agonizing blow to the Aitkens. James continues to endure the challenges of the tragic disease. Aitken discussed the guilt, the fear and the sorrow of growing up in the midst of his brother’s inherited illness, but still vividly enjoys recounting an embarrassing moment with him in downtown Minneapolis.
“What happened to James tested our family’s faith,” said Aitken. “But overall, it made us revisit its real meaning.”

Being bishop
No longer the shepherd of a single parish, Aitken will now counsel 150 congregations. He explained that this level of clergy exerts great influence over pastors, but not total authority.
He recently returned from Chicago where he attended bishop school at the ELCA headquarters, which included training with lawyers and instructions for dealing with the press.
“We have become very attuned to sexual misconduct,” he said, and added that he is very proud of the Lutheran clergy as well as the synod’s policy of illuminating abuse. “These are top-notch people.”
An interim pastor will replace Aitken, providing a segue before a long-term pastor is placed. “I have prayed that he or she please love this congregation,” he said. With an August installment in Brainerd, the Aitkens will be living in Duluth.
Aitken’s family will be involved in his installation ceremony, and two bus loads of local parishioners will attend. Son Michael, now an artist at the Rhode Island School of Design, has created the program cover.
Ojala said the parish is very proud of Aitken’s achievement, especially in light of the length of his service to First Lutheran. “We think that he’s going to do a wonderful job.”
Aitken has told his congregation that they have been a critical influence in shaping his faith journey.
“He will bring to the synod and the ELCA at large, a new message and a new vision,” said Schumacher.

Moving forward
A reception honoring Tom and Beckie Aitken will be hosted on July 30 from 6 to 9 p.m. at the Backus Community Center. Prior to that date, both Beckie and Tom will be involved in their last variety show on the Backus stage in the historical building where Beckie served as director until just recently. “Summer on the Border” is scheduled for July 25 at 7 p.m.
All human loss is made more bearable with men like Aitken.
So the question for the coming days, is: “Who will inspire as he has, and who will comfort when the loss is his absence?”
Perhaps the answer lies right in Aitken’s perpetual message to love each other. Maybe this is the moment — the opportunity — for people to let go of old grievances and afflictions, whatever they are, and reveal their own force in the search for goodness.
In an unprecedented election year, as the country continues to discover that it might solve more problems by focusing on what unites people, rather than on what divides them; maybe parents, children, friends, families, coworkers, even foes — in a small northern community — can do the same.
It would be one profound way of saying thank you — for 16 years of seeking the goodness in Borderland.